"Oh! The Crinan Canal for me, I don't like the wild raging sea, It would be too terrific to cross the Pacific, Or sail to Japan or Fiji. A life on the Spanish Main, I think it would drive me insane, The big foaming breakers would give me the shakers, The Crinan Canal for me. It's the Crinan Canal for me, From sea terrors there you are free, There's no shark or whale that would make you turn pale, Or shiver or shake at the knee. I would nae like leavin' ma bones, In a locker beside Davy Jones, From Ardrishaig to Crinan's the best trip A'hve bin in, The Crinan Canal for me. Aye the Crinan Canal for me, It's neither too big nor too wee, Oh! It's lovely and calm when you're frying your ham, Or makin' a nice cup of tea. You can go for a stroll on its banks, To loosen your muscle bound shanks, You can darn your socks while you're still in its locks, The Crinan Canal for me."